


Portrait

by Bblanchiii



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Alternate Universe: Historical AU, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Desperate author, Drama, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pills, Platonic Romance, Racism, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Violence, banana fish au, i got inspired by a certain k-drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26952088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bblanchiii/pseuds/Bblanchiii
Summary: Why do things go south, north or nowhere at all? Eiji questions his direction in life. Pole-vaulting, the only thing he was very passionate about was gone. Long gone. But thanks to Shunichi Ibe, or his "guardian" that he was given a chance to be himself again. But, is that really the way he wants it to be?He asks himself once again. A young man, escaping the sad remnants of his hometown, to seek for renaissance, and happiness.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Kudos: 8





	Portrait

Breathing, the reason for our existence. Because we breathe, we can do things we want. Because we breathe, we can face the world without any exchange. But for Eiji, it was… _vague._ He thinks everything goes wrong when he uses his body for a need for air. It seems that breathing will only make him lose himself… or it only takes his will of living.

He quietly opens the creaking door, in a small but cozy clinic. Taking him back to his old self, who was quivering with the smell of a hospital. But now, the smell only makes him feel light and fuzzy, proving that the hospital resides in his system. 

As he entered, he noticed there were only a few people in for an appointment, not the usual crowd he would always see. It was never a bother for him, because for some reason, the crowd comforts him, thinking that he was never alone, and to never be afraid to open yourself. And for that reason, Eiji starts to sigh.

“There’s nothing we can do about it, isn’t there?” He mumbled. As if the world started to circle around him. He gently rubs his nape, feeling a bit exhausted. Now he knows he would walk in a tranquil place, making him feel drowsy. The young male sits on one of the clinic’s waiting chairs, the secretary who just came from the comfort room happily greets him, seeing Eiji’s face was one of the things she looked forward to.

“Good morning, Okumura-san.” She molded her smiling face. She was an intern, or so he believed. Eiji, who’s down to earth, bowed and greeted her back. Her grin was widened when he flashed his sweet smile, that is, according to the secretary in charge. Shunichi was so sure that the woman had a crush on Eiji. But him, on the other hand, didn’t mind at all. He prefers to not think about it and ride with the waves.

_Her tastes sure are peculiar, I don’t even find myself attractive._

Eiji thought, putting a little pout on his lips. He took his handkerchief to clean his hands. Just a habit that grew out of him, cleaning and rubbing alcohol against it. He would appreciate having a company on his current appointment, but the young man decides to go by himself. He thinks Shunichi babies him all the time. Well.. he is a grown _20 year-old_ after all. He knows that Ibe just cares for him, Eiji knows that of course, he’s the first person to know that.

He focuses on his breathing, scared that his _nightmare_ would come back, hallucinating him. Even if he was physically conscious, he would come back to that strange dream, as long as he drifts away from reality. He’ll have no chance of winning from his nightmare. That alone, terrifies him to his very soul. He clutched both of his hands and locked them together.

One thing is for certain, he was very nervous.

Every time he would think about his occurring nightmares, that would shake him. He’ll get restless, wanting to run around and forget, but it’s not that easy for the young man.

_Relax, Eiji, You’re doing fine._

_You’re doing great.. And you’re keeping it well._

He collects himself once again, breathing in and out. He’s got only one choice but to relax, despite being targeted with anxiety. Eiji would never heal all by himself, and.. that thought makes him sad. He closes his eyes for a short moment, and with that briefest moment, he sees it again. He doesn’t know what it is, it seems that even in his nightmares, his near-sightedness never changed. And because of that, he couldn’t recognize everything he remembered, without a close, close look. 

He pants quietly, trying to catch some air. He knew it was a bad idea, but he hasn’t been able to sleep for _months_. A small little nap would be so much to him.. But sadly, he can’t do it at all. He’s been visiting a few doctors that would help him, he takes medications.. Insomnia, anxiety… and depression.

He is not quite sure about his depression, although he feels like… he does have it. 

The birds are chirping outside, one of the things he always sees.. He could even hear their small voices even from a closed window, that’s just how keen he is.

He waited for about 3 hours, and while he was, he took the leisure watching the usual TV show on the left corner of the room. One of the reasons why Eiji likes the clinic is because of a mild scent, like flowers. The clinic was always cleaned and there were plants. The scent of flowers actually came from the plants, they were more like herbs, giving off a good therapeutic scent.

The door opened and the patient bowed to his doctor. It was a little girl, accompanied by her mom. That little girl somewhat reminded him of Akira. Eiji only knew about her just a year ago, but everything changes faster than you think. In that span of time, Eiji and her were already close. The little girl dashed to the door and her mom politely bid her goodbyes to them. Eiji likes everyone in his town, inside the clinic he’s in. 

He.. just never liked himself.

Eiji stands up from his seat and enters the doctor’s room, he was calmed once again by the sweet smell of flowers. One thing his doctor treats his patients is to make them feel enlightened or relaxed while being consulted. Eiji may not show it, but he really appreciates it.

  
  



End file.
